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After a few hours of intense conversation he ultimately decided that this relationship was not for him.

He had real questions; What kind of support will we have? What is everyone else thinking when they see us walking down the street?

He shared some of his negative experiences with African-Americans and how they treated women in the Marines and what he felt the view of white women dating black men was.

The email contained conditions for us working things out beginning with “you have to agree not to engage in this kind of behavior again” meaning that I would have to agree not to date black guys.

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More awkward silence, lack of eye contact, blank face.

How does he feel like the personification of why my Dad is not around? News reached my Dad that Aaron and I had broken up, and on the eve of my 29 birthday my Dad wrote me a lengthy email attempting to mend our relationship.

Though I was definitely willing to fight for him, I couldn’t pretend to understand what it’s like to be black or how he was interpreting any of this news. The email explained his feelings about black people as far as romantic relationships go and the culture differences from our own.

The truth was that our relationship would never be the same so I thought it pointless to agree to live with racism, rules, and unhappiness just so that we could all spend Christmas together.

The email felt more like a heartless business proposition.

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